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Blog Posts


When Help Is a Form of Control
Help is usually assumed to be benevolent. Offers of support are culturally associated with care, generosity, and goodwill. However, psychological and organisational research suggests that help can sometimes function as a mechanism of control , particularly in contexts marked by power asymmetry (Williams & Dempsey, 2018; Ashforth et al., 2016). This does not mean that help is insincere. It means that its effects are not always neutral. Help and asymmetry Research on power dyn
lauracariola
6 days ago2 min read


Why You’re Not “Too Sensitive”
Being described as “too sensitive” is one of the most common ways people learn to doubt their own perceptions. The phrase is often used to explain distress, interpersonal friction, or withdrawal. Yet psychological research suggests that sensitivity is rarely the core problem. Instead, distress frequently arises from a mismatch between a person’s level of attunement and the relational or institutional context they are in (Petrides et al., 2016; Prilleltensky, 2014). In other
lauracariola
6 days ago3 min read


What Self-Trust Actually Feels Like
Self-trust is often described as confidence, decisiveness, or certainty. In popular psychology, it is associated with speaking up, setting boundaries, or “knowing your worth.” Yet psychological research suggests that self-trust is not primarily a feeling of strength , nor is it a stable internal trait (Fonagy & Allison, 2014). More often, self-trust is a relational state — something that becomes visible in how a person orients to ambiguity, discomfort, and limits. Self-trust
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6 days ago3 min read


Leaving Without Closure
Many people experience distress not because a relationship or situation ended, but because it ended without explanation, repair, or resolution . Popular psychology often frames closure as necessary for healing. However, contemporary psychological research suggests that closure is not always achievable, nor always beneficial , particularly in relationships or systems characterised by power imbalance or relational ambiguity (Freyd, 2018; Prilleltensky, 2014). For some individua
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6 days ago3 min read


When Clarity Feels Like a Threat
Many people report that the moment they become clearer — about expectations, boundaries, or meaning — something in the interaction shifts. The tone cools. Responses become defensive or evasive. The person who was previously agreeable now appears unsettled or critical. Research across organisational psychology and psychotherapy suggests that clarity is not universally experienced as helpful . In some relational contexts, it is perceived as destabilising or even threatening (Ma
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6 days ago3 min read


Nice Is Not the Same as Safe
Many people describe situations in which everything appears “nice,” yet nothing feels secure. Interactions are polite. Words are measured. No one raises their voice. And yet, people leave feeling guarded, diminished, or uncertain about where they stand. Research on workplace and relational dynamics shows that politeness and psychological safety are not the same thing , and may in some contexts operate independently of one another (Kahn, 2017; Edmondson & Lei, 2014). What is o
lauracariola
6 days ago3 min read


The Cost of Over-Explaining
Many people respond to difficult or confusing interactions by explaining themselves more carefully. They add context. They clarify tone. They offer background, rationale, and reassurance. Often, this impulse is described as anxiety, people-pleasing, or lack of confidence. Yet research suggests that over-explaining is frequently a rational response to ambiguity rather than a personal deficit (Maitlis & Christianson, 2014; Williams & Dempsey, 2018). In clinical contexts, peopl
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6 days ago3 min read


Why Some Interactions Leave You Doubting Yourself
Many people might experience distress not because of a single dramatic event, but because of something quieter and more difficult to name: a growing uncertainty about themselves. Everyday interactions — at work, in families, or in professional settings — that appear civil, even supportive, yet leave individuals unsettled. Conversations are replayed, tone is analysed, and meaning is searched for. People begin to wonder whether they were too sensitive, too direct, or insufficie
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6 days ago3 min read


“We Need to Talk About It”: The Mental Health Crisis Facing LGBTQI+ Youth
In recent years, awareness of mental health has grown, and conversations about depression, anxiety, and self-harm are slowly becoming...
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Sep 25, 20254 min read
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